ghetto flat screen

this was flat screen before there was flat screen. this is sooo.....ghetto! again, if this is your tv......my bad.

where's bentley?

wifey and i have a really cool dog named bentley. he's half pit/half rott and well trained. i know, i know...... you don't believe me and that's cool, because you don't have to. but this story is funny! two nights ago at about...... 1:20 am i hear 3 short barks from bentley. i thought to myself, who's outside my house because "B" only barks when he's told to or if someone is near that's not welcome. so i get up to look outside and who do i see? it's bentley!! he had been outside on the patio waiting contently to be let back in from his poop/pee break that begin at 11:15 pm. this may not be a big deal at your home, but we don't have a fence! which means our 90 pound pitt/rottie didn't leave the yard and stayed outside faithfully for over 3 hours. how could you forget this handsome dog you ask? wifey forgot to let him back in.... which is great for me, 'cause bentley and i haven't always been on the same page. but we tight now! thanks wifey!

back to the job

i went back to work Monday from being off a whole week and of course i wasn't ready to go back. my reality set in when the alarm went off. in my mind i tried to figure out how i could just get one more day off and promised myself i would rest. that really doesn't work! so, then i convinced myself that when i got home from work, i would go straight to bed. that never happens either, but it seems to help me get moving for the moment. i've been back at work for a couple of days and getting back in the groove. my question to you: why is going back to work after vacation so hard? i feel it's one of the most unholy things to do....of course that's when the alarm is blaring that first morning of return!

fair warning

when i worked in an all sales office, we had a lot of down time. so, some of the guys liked to pull pranks on each other. all i asked is that they didn't pull one on me! my revenge wouldn't be so funny. they held off for a long time without pranking me, until one day..... they got me. they filled my leather chair with water, when i sat down to answer the phone my butt got soaked. needless to say....i gave everyone fair warning to leave me alone. so.....the brave one stepped up and confessed that he did the prank and for me to bring it on. SO I DID! did i mentioned i lived in Colorado Springs and he commuted to Denver everyday?......about an hour drive and it was winter? i waited a few days to let the anticipation die down. i went to taco bell and grabbed about 10 hot sauce packets. i poured the sauce along the top of his windshield wipers. so, when he'd turn on his wipers, the sauce would smear the windshield, blinding his vision. IT WORKED!! i received a VERY COLORFUL phone call about 30 minutes into his commute that he couldn't see out of his windshield and he was pulling off the highway to try to scrap the sauce off his windshield!! did i mention it was snowing? imagine..... the mixture of taco bell sauce, windshield wiper fluid, snow, and freezing temperatures, i would say that made up for the soaking of my leather chair.

driving fast?

this is a true sign that you're driving way to fast! if you got pulled over by a cop, there's not an excuse in the world that could get you out of a speeding ticket.

gasin' with no apoligies

my 11 week old baby girl can do no wrong at this stage in her life. everything she does, everybody thinks it's so cute! let me prove it. last week she farted (in my lap) so loud in church, people heard it on the other side of the room. i think she planned the whole thing. her timing was too perfect, cause she did it right when the pastor paused to take a breath. and it wasn't a quick hitter, she went for a good strong 3 seconds. of course she smiled and giggled, knowing papa would take the initial hit of blame. everyone for a second thought it was me......but i was innocent on this occasion! if you or i did that anywhere near church (maybe some of you do) we wouldn't be so cute!

word of the day is.......

omelette

cuz.....u trippin' right now, but omelette you slide.

lol!